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Words of Wisdom

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes.
You will learn a lot today.

A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.

HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH

Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

I don't have a solution; but I do admire the problem.

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS but it uses up a
thousand times the memory.

The Meek shall inherit the earth.. ...after we're through with it.

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Two can live as cheaply as one... for half as long.

Lord, If I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

THE BUCK DOESN'T EVEN SLOW DOWN HERE So keep on going.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I was only looking at your name tag, honest!

When blondes have more fun do they know it?

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?

MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT!

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?


Shutupmudgeon

The older I grow, the more I listen to people who don't talk much.
Germain G. Glidden

Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
Laurence Coughlin

He knew the precise psychological moment to say nothing.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
The Picture of Dorian Gray

It often shows an excellent command of language to say nothing.
Karol Newlin

When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
Charles Caleb Colton

Look wise, say nothing, and grunt: speech was given to conceal thought.
William Ostler

Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, daruber muss man schweigen.
(Whereof one cannot speak, thereof must one be silent.)
Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951)
_Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus_

Preach not because you have to say something, but because
you have something to say.
Richard Whately, Archbishop of Dublin, 1844

The worst of Warburton is that he has a rage for saying something, when
there's nothing to be said.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
Boswell's Life of Johnson, 1758

No one has a finer command of language than the person who
keeps his mouth shut.
Sam Rayburn (1887-1961)

Blessed are they who have nothing to say, and who cannot be
persuaded to say it.
James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)

Ev'n copious Dryden wanted, or forgot,
The last and greatest art, the art to blot.
Alexander Pope (1688-1744)

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but
not the power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

A wise old owl sat on an oak
The more he saw, the less he spoke
The less he spoke, the more he heard
Why can't you be like that wise old bird?
Edward H. Richards

B.S. Bingo

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings? Are you having trouble focusing on
what your colleagues are saying? Here's something to change all of that:

How to play: Simply tick off phrases from the list below as they are used
in a meeting. When you have ticked off any five phrases, shout out "BINGO!"

It's that easy!

Here are the phrases:
synergy
out of the loop
go the extra mile
take that off-line
benchmark
the big picture
strategic fit
value-added
movers and shakers
at the end of the day
ball park
proactive, not reactive
gap analysis
win-win situation
think outside the box
best practice
fast track
result-driven
the bottom line
empower employees
no blame
core business
stretch the envelope
knowledge base
lessons learned
total quality
slippery slide
touch base
ticks in boxes
mindset
revisit game plan
knock-on effect
put this one to bed
bandwidth
client-focused
quality-driven
hardball move
the goal
multi-disciplinary
concerted effort

Testimonials from other players:
"I had only been in the meeting for five minutes when I yelled 'BINGO!'"

"My attention at meetings has improved dramatically."

"It's a breeze. Meetings will never be the same for me after my first
outright win."

"The atmosphere was tense at the last process workshop as 32 of us listened
intently for the elusive 5th."

"The facilitator was stunned as we all screamed 'BINGO!' for the 3rd time in
2 hours."

"I feel that the game has enhanced the overall quality of meetings, per se,
on a quid pro quo basis."

"People are now even listening to mumblers, thanks to B.S. Bingo."


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